Jesper Mikkelsen
Home Series are conversations with friends about parenthood, work-life balance and treasured items.
Jesper is a father of three and lives with his wife and two youngest children in Copenhagen. He serves as the head of the communications department at the Royal Danish Theatre.
You have children at very different stages of life—22, 6, and 4 years old. How do you navigate parenting across these different ages?
Ha, I don’t know. Sometimes not well at all, I guess - like most other parents. But in general I’d say you grow into it. When my oldest daughter, Vega, was growing up, we had so much time together, just the two of us. So we have a really strong bond and so much shared experience. We’re quite tuned into each other's feelings, and I just know when something is off. We talk a lot and text a lot. We see each other less than when she was living at home, but when we see each other, it’s because we actually have chosen to do so. Luckily, that’s quite often.
With Luka and Charlie, my two youngest, it's different. They are close in age, so we can do a lot together as a family, but their differing temperaments and interests lead us to spend time with them separately. One-on-one time often fosters a deeper connection, without the chaos of competing interests. Some days, we manage this balance well, while other days are more challenging, and that's okay with me, even if I do feel overwhelmed at times.
Looking back, how has your perspective on fatherhood evolved over the years?
So when Luka was born, Vega was almost 16 years old. At that point, as a parent, you’ve encountered quite a lot of big and small problems. And that absolutely gave me a sense of calm and some experience to lean on when things get difficult. And a certain confidence that if you love your kids and make a real effort, chances are they are going to turn out great, even if things aren’t always perfect.
Daisy Bedding Red in the living room. The Flexform sofa has been with the family since living in London ten years ago
Has your professional life influenced how you encourage creativity and play in your children’s daily lives?
One of the things I find the most fascinating about kids is their ability to conjure up role-play scenarios and a narrative from next to nothing.
In Danish, we have a phrase that all kids use all the time. It’s “Og så sagde vi at…,” and basically it means “And now let’s imagine…”. And now let's imagine I’m the unicorn queen, and you are my cute turtle baby servants. Yes, but then we also are vampire turtles and there was a football and also ice cream and a hamster. Then, the other kids will join in with their ideas, elaborate on the scenario, or change it entirely, and the narrative just evolves, gets derailed, shattered, and restarted.
I think it’s something most kids do naturally. With Luka and Charlie, sometimes they need a little nudge, but mostly, this happens when we’re not trying to interfere. Our kids naturally wish for all sorts of stuff for their birthdays and Christmas, but once they get it, they hardly ever play with it. That used to annoy me quite a lot because then why spend money buying fancy toys. But then days later, all of a sudden, that new teddy is captain of an imaginary pirate ship also featuring the incredible Hulk, one of my wife’s old dolls and a balloon with a painted face.
You can create a compelling story with a little imagination and some appropriation of whatever you have at hand. So, in that sense, there are a lot of similarities between the way we at work go about staging a play or communicating the core narrative of a story to our audience and the way my kids play.
Do you see a connection between a child’s environment and their creativity?
Naturally, we all come with a certain set of cognitive capabilities. The rest is absolutely up to the people that surround you, how safe you feel, and how encouraged you feel to explore. If you’re hungry or worried or not.
How do you involve your children in decorating their own spaces? Any fun projects or rituals?
I think you build it over time. We have all kinds of stuff that doesn’t serve any specific purpose, but those things we like, have a history or a memory attached. That looks beautiful in a sense or weird or interesting. When my father-in-law passed a few years back, we wanted to bring some of his treasured items and things that my wife loved from back when she was a child into our home. They don’t necessarily fit in as such, but together with our own stuff it makes for quite a curious backdrop for play and exploration. Also, it helps if you don’t have too many things that the kids can’t touch or interact with. If most things are available for some sort of exploration, most kids will know how to appropriate them to serve some sort of purpose.
How do you involve your children in decorating their own spaces?
We ask them about what they like, which pictures to hang, and where to display whatever creative projects they are currently working on. None of them are super interested in decorating their room yet, so the more permanent things are on me and my wife, Sidsel.
But my 6-year-old, Luka, loves building elaborate caves using the entire kid's room (and the living room) for all-consuming structures that will take up our flat for the entire day and get dismantled (by their loving parents) in the evening, only to be reconstructed again in the morning. So, in that sense, she’s quite a productive pop-up interior decorator.
What’s your favorite item in your home, and why does it hold special meaning for you?
I have two pieces that stand out. It’s two drawings that Vega did. One back when she was six and we lived together in Christianshavn. It’s a drawing of a grown dragon and a little dragon kid, and the big dragon magically breathes a tree into being. On the one hand, it just reminds me of a precious time, but in that drawing, I also recognize Vega, both the kid she was when she drew it and the young woman she has grown to be today.
For all kinds of reasons, there is both a very strong and very fragile story embeded in the motif for me. It’s also a constant reminder that Luka and Charlie are around that age now but will grow up before long. The other drawing Vega did a few years back as a gift for Luka and Charlie for their kid's room. Together they have a lot to say about being a kid and coming into your own and how your role as a parent and your emotions develop over time. Some of it is also pure nostalgia. I really enjoy looking at it from time to time.
You live in Copenhagen. What are some joys of raising kids in Copenhagen?
For all its Big City aspirations, Copenhagen is small, healthy, safe, and beautiful. There is hardly any commute, no matter where you are going, and you can bike around safely with your kids in a cargo bike, and there is a park, a playground and the sea just around the corner. It doesn’t get much more ideal than that, unless you’re built for countryside living. And I’m not.
What are some of your favorite places to visit with your children in Copenhagen?
I really love taking my kids to ByOasen in the middle of Nørrebro. A small park with a kind of small petting zoo, where you can see all kinds of animals. They also have an impressive cable car for children.
Last year, we started bringing the kids to La Banchina, a small restaurant / industrial bathing spot off the harbor. There are lots of people, often far too many, but taking a swim in the harbor, sipping a coffee, and relaxing with your kids in the sun is pure magic. I’m sure we’ll enjoy it even more with the kids this year.
Remisen - my go-to place on a rainy weekend when your kids drive you crazy at home. Lots of stuff to climb and jump off of. And it’s free.
Any public swimming pool. My kids just love it unconditionally. Even the sauna. Which I hated when I was a kid.
The theater. This is a total work bias. But honestly, a theater experience just sits with you for months and touches you in a way that a movie rarely will. And the kids just take it far more unfiltered and with such direct joy, dread, surprise, and excitement.
Finally, what’s one piece of advice you’d share with new or soon-to-be parents?
Don’t be too hard on your kids. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Love your kids unconditionally. That's kind of a three-in-one interconnected advice. Also, most things that are tough will get better.
Photography: Amanda Bødker
The interview has been edited for clarity.
Published on February 21st, 2025.
